Yesterday, I was taken to the evil Dr. Todd Spurgeon's office where I was given my "annual vaccines," but which are really kryptonite! At first I didn't realize the danger I was in and came home to relax in my favorite couch spot (that would be in the corner with my pillow) and take a nap. However, after a while I rose to change position and realized that my lower back hurt quite a bit and I was feeling very warm. My mom and dad tried to comfort me, but just touching me hurt a lot as the kryptonite was starting to spread. At first I thought they were going to take me back to the evil Dr. Spurgeon, but instead I was taken to a different place called "the emergency clinic." This of course I knew was but a clever ruse full of trickery. I informed my parents that this was not how I was supposed to be spending my birthday month at all! I'm not supposed to be fighting evil doers during my birthday celebrations.
The lady "doctor" (aka: the other evil one) informed my parents that I was having a negative reaction to the vaccines which was causing the fever and muscle pain. My response to this information was "Duh!" Who is going to have a positive reaction to kryptonite? Humans can be so simple minded sometimes. Anyway, she sent me home with instructions that I was to be given some vile liquid and a pill every twelve hours. My mom calls the liquid "benadryl" and says it's cherry flavored. Maybe if cherries tasted like death! The pills though aren't so bad. They have a slight meaty taste which I do enjoy. The pills help my pain so I don't mind taking them, but the liquid makes me very sleepy. Even as I write this I'm getting a slight eye droopiness in my right eye...I can't be sure though...maybe it's my left eye...droopiness, that's a funny wordy. Droooooopineesssssss. Hehehe. Oh how that makes me chuckle. But where was I? I can not allow the kryptonite to muddle my thoughts! Pull it together Flash!
As I was saying this has turned into quite the trying times for me. But it is not the dachshund way to despair. I must remain strong and trust that with my intelligence and cunning I will get through this. My mom says that it should take three days for the kryptonite to pass through my system and then I'll be fine. Until then my birthday has been put on hold since I need all my strength to get better. The upside to this though is that they did let me sleep on the big doggy bed last night to keep a close eye on me. Not that I condone encouraging someones guilt, but if it gets me some big doggy bed time who am I to say anything?
I don't blame my parents though since they couldn't know that the evil Dr. Todd Spurgeon is a vile and treacherous creature. People aren't as perceptive as me all the time due to their slow evolutionary process. I did let them know however that if this happened again next year I might be forced to go live with my aunt Naty as she knows better than to treat my birthday in this shotty manner (hi aunt Nati!). So now I am resting and trying to get better and hopefully when that happens the birthday awesomeness shall commence. For now I will return to my doggy bed and favorite fluffy blanket where I will create a cocoon of power allowing me to regain my strength. That and my blanket always makes me feel better.
Okay, toodles for now. Toodles! Hehehe. Toodley Tooooodley dooooo. Teeheee. I mean damn you cherry liquid! Damn you! I have to go...Flash's Tip of the Day:
When trickery is afoot you must remain vigilant and cautious at all times. Even those who seem likely candidates for the village idiot position might just be waiting for you to turn your back so they can inject you with kryptonite!
I hope you feel better. Ill try to keep you away from the evil one as much as possible.
ReplyDeleteMua love you
Sorry Flash that your weekend birthday turned that way, but the upside of this is than now all the presents will have enough time to arrive and mom and dad are guilty enough to let you eat as much cake as you want.
ReplyDeleteKeep up your energy and vigilance moving around a little more than you are doing in that picture.